City Mom's homeschool REALITY

When we decided to start a blog...ANOTHER BLOG about homeschooling, Country Mom and I wanted to present ourselves honestly. We have some good ideas. We can be creative. We have really good and cute kids. We like to share the good, but never want to come off as if we are perfect, or that we in ourselves are something to strive to go after. We'll share our ideas...and the imperfections that accompany them on the way. Here are some realities about City Mom's homeschool life:

 JoJo likes to change up the answers to our "Good Morning" song we do during Calendar Time. The other day instead of saying "I'm fine" she said, "I'm Obama" during her portion of the song. Do other people's kids change it up like this? Or is it just mine?

Then it was Odes' turn to answer. He also decided to answer "I'm President Obama" only with the intent to get others riled up. Are my kids the only ones who fight during calendar time? Confession: I used to get upset about stuff like this. I mean, my kids weren't looking like the perfect bloggers' families I'd seen doing these activities. What was wrong with us?

The kids make the Pledge of Allegiance into a goofy time. Hitting each other with the flag, laughing. JuBe was the only true participant. Is this what homeschool looks like? Is it something I've done? Should I be cracking down on the kids and making sure we are doing this "right"?

During devotions this morning I asked the question "How do we let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts?" Someone answered, "I smelled **George's gas once. I mean, I didn't put my face in his butt, but I smelled it. More than once." That put an end to our time. Really, no one could recover.

As I begin to share ideas, curriculum picks, how we organize, some or our family goals, some pictures, our "pinteresting" existence, I want you to remember this post. I get asked often: "how do you do it all" "your kids are soooo well behaved" "I could just NEVER do what you do" ... remember this post.
My kids are great, great kids. They are not perfect kids. I am NOT supermom/perfect mom. I am however, learning that these little "blurps" in our day are really the "gifts" in our day. I'm learning to laugh and enjoy and realize that we don't need to look like our friend's homes, blogger's homes, or anyone else's home but OUR home. That is a happy place to be. It's the best place to be.

And remember, the next time you see pictures of my kids or hear about our family devotion time...our kids are probably talking about the scent of your kid's gas. Oh boy!


**name changed to protect the identity of the child.

The Goal of Our Instruction is LOVE...

I struggle as a mom with "perfectionism." Do you?

I want the school room clean, the dishes done, the beds stripped, the vacuuming done on the second level of the house, everyone dressed, teeth brushed, and rooms cleaned---by 9:00 on a Monday. I want to be up early, work out, quiet time, showered, dressed before the kids get up. That is an ideal Monday morning for CityMom.

*Note...it is 11:00 and I have not showered, and none of the above chores have been finished (or started)...but we are all dressed with great dental hygiene in place.

I asked the boys to clean up their toys in the school room before we got started. They BEGGED permission to keep it all out. "ugh," thinks City Mom...I can't THINK with clutter, we can't do school. 

Then, I think of our Parenting Group last night, 1 Tim. 1:5...

"The goal of our instruction is love..."

No biggie to keep the toys out today. Right?

We start Calendar Time each morning together. It brings us together. It gives us direction. It helps the littles feel like they've been poured into. We have a kid of the day. Today that kiddo was Odes...which means, yep...it was a goofy Calendar Time. 

JoJo

Odes

JuBe

Peebs

Messy room...scattered time...what is my goal again? oh yes...love!

The littles love making dramatic faces for pictures.

The kid of the day, performing part of his privilege...entering the "day of the week"

...leading the pledge of allegiance. When Odes leads it's usually a big joke, and the littles yell, "AMEN!" at the end and giggle til they can't giggle anymore (about that particular little funny). 

For Calendar Time. We sing songs, talk about the date, talk about family issues, talk about and pray for our country and country leaders, do pre-school activities, like general weather, counting coins, and colors. We review our address. We pray for people in our lives and for our favorite Missionary :)

Odes picks out a weather card...

He picks the "color of the day"

...then they are off. After a short instruction with letters...the smaller 3 play. They moved their toys and spread them from school room all over the front entry way. This stresses out City Mom. But...my goal is...LOVE. Let it go...

JuBe sits at the table and does her math. I look at this picture and get excited for the new additions to our school room that are coming soon. I love to be organized and hate clutter. So, this is vulnerable for me to share...

I hate messes, but I'm not a "scheduled" person, and lately even "routine" has been tough for my free-spirited personality. I love my kids, and love having them home, and love the opportunity to shape their little hearts. We'll go into this week with this goal for our instruction...LOVE. It is shaping every choice I make. Will we get this place cleaned up? You bet...can it wait while my boys are in the throes of an epic battle with their Star Wars and castle guys? Yes...

Off to finish up history and Bible. My loving sacrifice to my little quartet I love so much.

Remember...the Steadfast Love of God...City Mom

A dear friend recently encouraged me to remember the steadfast love of the Lord (Isaiah 63:7) as I have been walking through a tricky time in my faith life. Recounting all the Lord has granted us and the great goodness He has granted according to His compassion, and the abundance of His steadfast love. Hours after this encouragement, I found myself in the midst of a conversation with my kids...a conversation I wasn’t intending to have that day.

Remember...

Kids...when I was 21 years old, I was in a foreign country and very very sick. I almost died I was so sick. Then (Jonah 2:7 When my life was fainting away, I remembered the Lord, and my prayer came to you, into your holy temple.)...moments from being put to sleep for surgery, I was alone in a dark hallway---God’s holy temple for me in that moment. I wasn’t alone. The Holy Spirit’s presence was so real that it was almost manifest. I didn’t know anything about my future...realizing that death may be a part of the plan, I had no fear, I was safe in Jesus. I woke up to a tough recovery, and the realization that I had been through two major operations. One of which was removing a part of my reproductive system. A few years later, I was married. We married knowing there was a real possibility that we may never have biological children. Complications from illness plagued my life for awhile, and then miraculously, the month my Doctors told me to NOT conceive...I ended up experiencing a healing in my body and a surprise pregnancy...a 9 month physical and emotional challenge led to the greatest joy...becoming a mom to my first born daughter! Then, surprise! 20 months later, a son entered our family. A miscarriage came next...but, what? I conceived 3 times? This didn’t seem possible! A few months after I had healed from losing the little girl we never met, my body took on the amazing feat of growing another son, and then two years later our baby daughter was born. Yes, I remembered, even with faith very weak I was able to remember, the great things He had done. 

Then, it occurred to me...as I went about the day...there are big things He has done. And then there are the little things, in the midst of all the big, that I may not ever remember...but little things that have the finger-print of the abundance steadfast love of God, the great goodness He’s granted in compassion. Those small things day in and day out that help me remember...that He’s provided salvation, and all of this too...

JoJo wrapping her right arm tightly around my neck...squishing her lips onto mine and kissing me all over my face. Snuggling tight for 45 minutes when she wakes up from her nap. Screaming for me in her crib because she hates to be left out of the craziness in the rest of the house. Little arms reaching to me at the top of the stairs saying “I hold you Mommy.” Tucking her big brother in for his nap, saying his prayers, and singing “Yes, Jesus Loves me, the Bible Little Song.” JoJo sitting on my lap during JuBe’s spelling lesson and trying to spell. Screaming “AMEN!” after she leads us in the pledge of allegiance during calendar time. Yelling, “I’m moco’s” (boogars in Spanish) during our “Good morning JoJo, how are you?” song. Singing “Jump On It” and asking if she can watch “JoJo’s birthday...just one more time....peeeeeease.”

Odes telling me I’m the best mom in the whole world for letting him have a peanut butter cup for breakfast. Asking me to play “Star Wars” nearly every day and laughing as we make Princess Leia marry Obi Wan even though she REALLY married Han. Odes running down the bike path trying to catch up to the “Bigs” on their bikes. Odes saying, “let’s just you and me read a couple books before I nap mama.” Bringing “very special rocks mommy” inside to show me, and when I point out they are purple pieces of sidewalk chalk, he accepts it with no mis-givings and takes them out to the sidewalk to try them out. Asking me if every song I am humming is a “God-song” or not. Odes, bolding proclaiming that Jesus *is* God with a conviction that keep the strongest debater on the team from arguing that point. Thinking Cinderella and Belle at Disney World were a little beneath him, but fawning over Sleeping Beauty, because she is the “best one.” 

Peebs crying because he said “what in the world” and was worried that it wouldn’t be pleasing to God. Telling me with tears in his eyes he wants to be a preacher because he “just wants to obey God.” As a two year old, saying “Gus-Gus” prayers with a lisp every night and doing it anyway, even though he’d get in trouble from dad every single time. As a one year old, wanting to read Little House books so he could pick out the pictures in the middle that looked just like the cover. Peebs yelling out JuBe’s math answers before she can even process the question. Wanting justice to be served at all times and is more than happy to deliver it. Peebs, loving legos and his Plopper. Head in the clouds, but always noticing when someone needs encouragement, and always knowing the right answers during family devotions. Peebs, breaking his heart when he realized it was Adam and Eve’s sin and therefore HIS sin that broke fellowship with God, wrestling through it as a 3 year old and then that night, bowing down, broken and expressing a heart-felt desire to give his life to the Lord and follow him, thanking hi for his sacrifice on the cross. 

JuBe as a preschooler playing Joseph (and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat) every single day, all day long, using dolls, stuffed animals and baby brother as props. The entrepreneur setting up lemonade stands and “calling people to come because it’s more effective than waiting for them.” Holding her own “jewelry presentations” in her bedroom using a green pillow case to display her plastic jewels and copying mommy’s presentation. JuBe, quiet, kind-hearted, giving, always helping...hating math, loving reading, wanting to hear adult’s conversation. JuBe taking her training wheels off her bike AFTER her little brother shows her it’s easy. Making 12 loaves of banana bread in one night and offering to give them away to others. Helping her sister get ready for the day. Accident prone, knocking out teeth, breaking her arm, while simultaneously being the most gentle, careful child I’ve seen. JuBe confessing her wrong-doings even when they are simple as “I didn’t wash my hands when we got home from the park” or “I was being mean to the boys too so maybe I should get a consequence.”

These are the little things...the things I want to remember, but most likely won’t. The Little Things that tie into the Big Things, that help me remember the Steadfast Love of the Lord. His mercies never cease, they are new every morning. And every morning, I am reminded of this sweet truth, when I hear the babies’ laughter down the hall...the pitter-patter of feet shooshing each other loudly as they wake up just a little too early but need to use the bathroom...the chubby arms that reach up to me, the strong arms that wrestle with me, the slender arms that help me serve. These remind me of a great, good God. 

Thank you for helping me remember Leanne. 

Encourage the Gift, Discipline the Sin ~ City Mom

Let me introduce you to my four children:

My oldest is eight...we'll call her "JuBe"
The next is six...we call him "Peebs"
The four year old...one of his many moniker's "Odes"
Our baby girl who has shunned her feminine given name and prefers to be called... "JoJo"


Odes is our funny man. His motto: "anything for a laugh" or "laugh and the world laughs with you." He reminded the rest of the family that living life with others is worthwhile. He smiled at two weeks, laughed at 5, and let us pass him around church at the age when most children are clinging to mom with the knee-shaking, stranger-danger in full force. He began talking at 10 months and conversing at 13 months. The boy was born to talk, interact, and bring joy-filled laughter.

My husband and I have been reading a book by some authors names Jim and Lynne Jackson, titled: "Discipline That Connects With Your Child's Heart" http://connectedfamilies.org/. We are really challenged by the thought that underneath misbehavior lies a gift. Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." My children were created for good works! What a thought!!!

Starting around age 2 and a half, when Odes decided one day that he didn't need diapers anymore and simply started using the potty, he also decided that it would be HILARIOUS to show his private parts to anyone with eyes. At first we laughed at what was surely a "phase" with which he'd simply become bored. We waited...the boredom did not come. His delight increased each time a child (or adult) laughed or looked at him (or his mom or dad) with a shocked face that said, "how dare he!" My husband decided a few months ago that we nip this in the bud before the boy became known as the City Flasher. When his Buzz Light Year underwear decided to make appearances we told him this was private and to keep it to himself. We were stern with him. My husband and I tried to think of creative punishments like "go to your room," etc. 

Last week, while making breakfast with my back turned to the kids, I heard muffled laughter that built into an uproar. I turned around and saw Buzz Light Year on the ground, and my naked four year old standing on his chair playing "air guitar." At first I wanted to laugh. Then, I felt angry. Inside I thought, "how many times do I have to remind him?" "he KNOWS he's disobeying us." But something inside me (let's call this the Holy Spirit), said, "stop, don't charge ahead." I knew there was disobedience going on, but I also knew there was something going on in Odes' spirit that I must NOT quench. I took a breath, said a quick prayer for wisdom and called him over to me, "Odes," I said, "I want to tell you something. I LOVE your sense of humor." 

Odes looked at me and in an off-handed response said, "thanks" and began to walk away.

"Wait a minute Mr." I called in a light-hearted tone, "I'm not done yet!" He turned back. "I love your sense of humor. God uses it in my life to bring me great joy. I believe it's one of the gifts that He has given you and wants to use for His glory. You know what though? Right now, your humor isn't being effectively used for God's glory because it's all mixed up in disobedience. Mommy and Daddy have asked you to keep your pants on. So you know what? It's not a funny thing anymore to take them off. I know you can do the right thing and use your humor in ways that can be both funny and honoring." He ran over, put Buzz Light Year back in place and sat down at the breakfast table in seek of another laugh from his siblings.

So...what happened there? His gift of humor went awry...it got all mixed up with sin (disobedience). I was able to walk by faith in my parenting (when I stepped back to depend on the wisdom of the God of the universe, instead of my own). I acknowledged that Odes was displaying a special gift, which opened him up to my instruction, instead of shutting him down by a harsh or angry tone. I spoke confidence in him that I know he can make the right choices, while also correcting him and showing him where he had gone wrong. 

Will he stumble in this area again? It's likely (in fact he did a couple days later). However, his sin was called out, he was LOVED in it, and his gift was upheld instead of squished. I don't know that anything else could have been more effective. I s'pose I could have spanked him for this behavior until he decided he didn't like the spanking as much as he did the laughter attention he was getting. I may have gained control...but at what expense? I'm not sure, and will probably never know. 

What kinds of gifts are underneath the behavior you see displayed in your children? How can you encourage the spirit of the child, while also correcting the sin when the gift goes awry?