I remember when Jube was two, reading or hearing something about how many times a toddler laughs during the day. It's sad to think that you laugh less as you age.
As parents we have so many opportunities to laugh (these were from just the last 45 minutes of our day):
During devotions when JoJo interrupts over and over saying, "Ummmm, Daddy, I know! GOD! No, no, Jesus!"
When one kid repeats "shake your booty" over and over until the baby starts saying it but mis-pronouncing the word.
Hearing Peebs giggle uncontrollably.
Reading "Richard Scarry" books and watching Odes laugh hysterically when Ma Pig's car gets crushed in a construction worker's arms.
Putting JoJo to bed and listening to her saying "Buzz Lightyear, buzz buzz" and then letting out fake laughter 15 times in a row.
JuBe & Peebs sharing jokes: "Why did the Chicken cross the playground Mommy?" To get to the other "slide."
There are so many times to SMILE as well. The other day I was looking at my children as they were telling me little tid-bits of things going on in their hearts and I realized how sober my face was. Sober and maybe a tad "distant" as well. I shook myself and put a big smile on my face as I asked a follow up question to the story. Peebs face lit up and he kept talking and pouring more of his heart and ideas out to my softened face that looked at him with adoration. In fact, my demeanor change affected him so much, that he literally followed me around the rest of that day, talking, sharing, hugging, and engaging me.
When is the last time you evaluated what your face looks like to your kids? Try it! What kind of non-verbals are you communicating?
Here's a time when it's really hard to smile...but very important: when they mess up. I got this concept from Jim & Lynne Jackson from Connected Families: SMILE when they do something wrong? Yes! Smiling, hugging, getting down on their level when they've done something sassy or trying or frustrating.
I started doing this a few months ago. I remember one particular day, Odes was having a really hard time and every time I pulled him aside to talk about what was going on in his heart, he'd look at me a little funny until he finally said, "Mommy, why do you keep smiling at me when I mess up?"
Here is why sweet little boy: I sin in my heart often. I resist God's leading in my life. I think bad thoughts. I lose my temper. I make rude comments. And you know what? God looks at me, and through His kindness, draws me to repentance. God has a righteous anger toward sin...but Jesus lives in me and that's what He sees! He is ever so kind and gracious and merciful.
If God can look at me like that with my adult sins that should be more tempered...why should I look at YOU, precious little one who is still learning right from wrong, and scowl when you mess up?
When I smile at you, you open your heart to me. You feel safe. You feel loved. You feel like you can trust this Mama to process through the issue. If I frown and scowl, will that lead you to heart change? Or will you just simply learn to try to please me with actions? Or turn away from me because I never seem to have empathy or understand?
So, I smile. I hug. I kiss...when they are funny, when they are naughty, when they are silly. I hold them to a standard of high ideals...oh yes! After all, I'm looking to shape their hearts~not just let them have their own way without accountability. My goal is to accomplish that "shaping" with love & tenderness ~ (more and more every day...this is NOT easy for me and I don't have it down perfectly).
My questions for you today: Have you noticed your face while interacting with your children? Or spouse? Or friends? Or co-workers? Or acquaintances? What are you communicating with that face? What would you like to communicate? Try a smile and see how much of a difference you can make!
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