Connect 4~City Mom

Does that sandwich look good? This is what we had for dinner last night. And tonight too.

We meet with three other families in a group called "Connect 4" where we discuss parenting in a grace-filled, spirit-led manner. And when someone talks about whining at the dinner table, I offer up helpful, awkward suggestions like "oh, when that happens at our house I remind our kids that children should be seen and not heard." (I'm hilarious! Our group just doesn't know it yet) ;)

We share a meal and then have a time of discussion.

Last night we had a "build-your-own Subway Sandwich" night. I think it was a hit.
You need to have a really cool husband who knows how to make bread to pull this off (unless you're a really cool chick who bakes bread~that is not me).

I'm not a huge bread eater anymore, since I've been making healthy lifestyle changes, but look at that!
City Dad made it all by hand. It was far more enticing than the broccoli (for SOME of us)~Mr. G, I'm so proud of you!

You also need men with beards to pull off this evening. HOW did this picture get in my camera Mr. Mud?

Here's our cute crew of kids. It is fun when City Dad gets them all settled and then has them come upstairs and jump at their parents to thank them for learning and growing as parents.

The 2 year olds in the group. They look like they just jumped out of a cute Family Circus cartoon!

It has been life changing to me to approach parenting from the stand point of walking by faith, being spirit led, and leading our children in grace. In the earlier years, I was a little more "harsh" with my children~thinking if I was stern enough, or if my "consequences" were unpleasant enough that I would be leading my children well. Over the years I've learned that if I dole out unpleasant consequences I CAN get my children to do what I want. However, when I look down the road, I don't want "compliance" so much as I want my children's hearts.

A couple of my favorite thoughts from our times of study:
"My children are not my report card" ( Jim Jackson)
"It is not my job to FORCE my children to obey. The command for obedience in Ephesians and Colossians is to the children. I can train them in righteousness, but whether or not they obey is entirely up to them."
"If Jesus treated prostitutes and drunkards and the vilest of sinners with a tender hearted compassion, why do we as parents think we need to treat precious, small children as if they were Pharisees with hardened hearts?" (I think that's some kind of Clay Clarkson very poorly paraphrased thought.)

You kind of get the idea. I love the ideas from the book "Discipline that Connects with your Child's Heart" book. It is basically "walking by faith" as a parent. When an issue or concern arises, my job is to   step back, ask Jesus for help, make sure my child knows he/she is loved (even in the midst of sin and bad choices), try to look for the gift that has gone awry, and correct the sin/misbehavior in a way that helps them know they are capable of doing the right thing.

It makes so much sense to me to ask God for help in situations with my kids. There are so many parenting resources out there that have "blanket" answers and set us up as parents as if we always know what is right~and if we don't, the author of the book we're reading does. I don't always know. I DO need to rely on God! I do need to check my own heart/spirit as I interact with my kids and not always assume that I am "right" in all of my demands or interactions. I do need to realize that sometimes I need to give up what I perceive as my "rights" in my home...like a quiet atmosphere, a peaceful afternoon, a sleep filled night. Parenting is sacrifice. Parenting requires faith. Parenting requires grace and most of all, love.