The misconception of a perfect life.....Country Mom

Do you ever feel like everyone else has it all together and you never will?  As a homeschool mom, my kids are home more than they are gone....messing things up, tracking things in, leaving dirty dishes in places that aren't the sink.  Sometimes I think I just can't  keep performing the fruitless task of recleaning what I've just....there is little recognition, no  permanence in anything I do around my house, no reward.   And I think about the fact that everyone probably thinks that I have it together.   Let's face it...we don't let others see us at our worst, we don't want to expose the ugly parts of our lives, the messy parts, the hurting broken parts.  Whether it's a messy house, a barn that needs to be mucked, a struggle with anxiety, problems with finances that seem to permeate every area of life,  or stresses in marriage..... we don't want people to see that stuff...we don't want to let people in to the uncomfortable mess of our lives.....we just want others to see the good stuff.  The problem is, it's that messy stuff that God uses to grow us into who he knows we can become...and it's the uncomfortable stuff that others need to see.    A few months back I read a book called "Permission to Speak Freely"....a book about being honest, specifically within the relationships of our churches.  The idea that stood out to me the most is this....paraphrased....

"Someone may be waiting on us to speak our struggles...waiting for permission to share their own trials, and pain, and sin.  If we neglect to share ours, we rob them of the opportunity...and we rob the next person that would respond to them, and the next person and the next person.  We have to be willing to be speak freely about the messes in our lives and to create an environment where others can do the same."

What a freeing thing it would be to be able to share our struggles and then give others permission to do the same.   How much healing would there be if we could all do that with just a few people.  

I have some perfectionistic tendencies, and I want things to be a certain way in my life, but honestly, they are seldom the way I envision....and maybe that's okay.  As a homeschooler that has brought one through to graduation, have 2 more still at home, I have the suspicion that many of us tend to tell all that we are doing right....we show the pictures of the perfectly posed field trips, the first day of school at the dining room table looking so happy(it's seldom that cheery any day after that....am I right ?  :)   We brag about the the things we do right but fail to mention when our kids aren't doing.  It puts unrealistic expectations on everyone....making us think that we aren't measuring up to a goal that isn't even attainable. 

In my own life I'm striving to be real, striving to be honest about my shortcomings....and I have so very many.   I want others to see that I'm very imperfect, that I'm forgetful,  that I have dishes in my sink when I go to bed many nights,  we have days where unschooling sounds really really good,  our house gets messy, we eat ramen for lunch many days, and I fall short more times than not.   

So next time I post pictures of our gourmet meal that we just made I think I'll post a picture of what our kitchen looks like after we finish cooking....it won't be pretty.

"Everything will line up perfectly when knowing and living the truth becomes more important than looking good."  ~ Alan Cohen

Thanks for listening to my ramblings......

Kari
Country Mom. :)