The misconception of a perfect life.....Country Mom

Do you ever feel like everyone else has it all together and you never will?  As a homeschool mom, my kids are home more than they are gone....messing things up, tracking things in, leaving dirty dishes in places that aren't the sink.  Sometimes I think I just can't  keep performing the fruitless task of recleaning what I've just....there is little recognition, no  permanence in anything I do around my house, no reward.   And I think about the fact that everyone probably thinks that I have it together.   Let's face it...we don't let others see us at our worst, we don't want to expose the ugly parts of our lives, the messy parts, the hurting broken parts.  Whether it's a messy house, a barn that needs to be mucked, a struggle with anxiety, problems with finances that seem to permeate every area of life,  or stresses in marriage..... we don't want people to see that stuff...we don't want to let people in to the uncomfortable mess of our lives.....we just want others to see the good stuff.  The problem is, it's that messy stuff that God uses to grow us into who he knows we can become...and it's the uncomfortable stuff that others need to see.    A few months back I read a book called "Permission to Speak Freely"....a book about being honest, specifically within the relationships of our churches.  The idea that stood out to me the most is this....paraphrased....

"Someone may be waiting on us to speak our struggles...waiting for permission to share their own trials, and pain, and sin.  If we neglect to share ours, we rob them of the opportunity...and we rob the next person that would respond to them, and the next person and the next person.  We have to be willing to be speak freely about the messes in our lives and to create an environment where others can do the same."

What a freeing thing it would be to be able to share our struggles and then give others permission to do the same.   How much healing would there be if we could all do that with just a few people.  

I have some perfectionistic tendencies, and I want things to be a certain way in my life, but honestly, they are seldom the way I envision....and maybe that's okay.  As a homeschooler that has brought one through to graduation, have 2 more still at home, I have the suspicion that many of us tend to tell all that we are doing right....we show the pictures of the perfectly posed field trips, the first day of school at the dining room table looking so happy(it's seldom that cheery any day after that....am I right ?  :)   We brag about the the things we do right but fail to mention when our kids aren't doing.  It puts unrealistic expectations on everyone....making us think that we aren't measuring up to a goal that isn't even attainable. 

In my own life I'm striving to be real, striving to be honest about my shortcomings....and I have so very many.   I want others to see that I'm very imperfect, that I'm forgetful,  that I have dishes in my sink when I go to bed many nights,  we have days where unschooling sounds really really good,  our house gets messy, we eat ramen for lunch many days, and I fall short more times than not.   

So next time I post pictures of our gourmet meal that we just made I think I'll post a picture of what our kitchen looks like after we finish cooking....it won't be pretty.

"Everything will line up perfectly when knowing and living the truth becomes more important than looking good."  ~ Alan Cohen

Thanks for listening to my ramblings......

Kari
Country Mom. :)

Camping Birthday Party

Happy 7th Birthday Peebs!

You are 7 years old today! There are no words to express my profound love for you Peebs! I remember clearly the first time I held you and heard the words "it's a boy!" I remember marveling at your sweet little face. Your hands! They were so distinctly "male" and they have the same look and shape to them today, 7 years later. I let you sleep 8 hours the first night you were born (the nurse was NOT happy with me). We were both so exhausted from your long journey into this world. The second night you were not so sleepy. The nurse came in and told me I was doing a commendable job, but that I needed some rest and to please let them have you down in the nursery for a bit. I knew she was right, and reluctantly yielded you into her care. I nuzzled down into my hospital bed, aching with loneliness for the baby I had thought of for 10 months in my body and grown to adore in the short few hours I had to hold you. I quickly however, gave in to sleep. Within 45 minutes you were back and another nurse said "he doesn't want anything, we can't keep him calm, you have to take him back mama!" "Gladly!"

Gladly, will I always accept you into my arms and my heart dear boy. How dearly we all love you. Your infectious laugh, your endless energy, your intelligent/inquisitive mind, your love for truth and love for God; all of these things are so evident to all you meet. I am captivated by your servant's heart. The way you take care of the little people in our house with affection and tenderness. The way you assist daddy or I with all of the family chores that need to get done. I am blown away by your desire to follow God. At the age of three you spent an evening struggling with forces unseen as you grappled with the idea of sin and death and ultimately, it was the night the Holy Spirit called you to Himself. We stayed up late that night (even after your big sister went to bed) and you yielded yourself to a Power and Love that is greater than the Universe. Since that day, you have grown in holiness, knowledge, and desire to serve God...in a way that challenges me and motivates me. We love your non-stop chatter and how you love to talk, talk, talk about anything and everything that comes to mind...peppering every conversation with deep questions about how life works. You are an amazing boy and I am so blessed to be your mommy.

I hope you always remember your 7th Camping Birthday Party! You are a great outdoorsman and it was fun to plan your party with you in mind! I love you Peebs...now & forever!!!

Making cakes for four kids has gotten more stressful. But a tent and campfire and tree cake you wanted...and that is what you got!

Camping themed coloring sheets helped all the guests to warm up to each other. 

You proclaimed M.W. as one of your new best friends. M won the "pin the flame on the log" game by coming closest!

There's no better way to get acquainted then to rub bare feet together, right? All in the tight space of a 3-man tent.

7 boys came to celebrate your big day. Along with you and your brother and sisters, that made 11 kids!  Plus mommy, daddy, Papa, Nana, and Mr. Mud. Each of you had a bag with a tent and campfire on it with your name. On the back was a "nature hunt" list which you were just about to do in this picture.

After the nature hunt...your guests alternated between hiding your gifts in the woods behind our house and making their own "trail mix" mixture.

It wouldn't be a normal party at our house if we didn't do SOME type of fishing! Especially at a CAMPING themed party! This was some strange fishing though. Putting your line into a tent?

Cute fish!

This s'more filled bucket is what you were fishing for. Everyone got their own s'more kit when they went fishing...tied to the end of their line.

You hunted for your gifts with your friends. They played hot~cold with you and then they brought your gifts into a circle. You took a camping pan and spun it. Wherever the handled landed is the gift you opened next. This was the most AMAZING group of kids you could really imagine. SUCH nice boys. It was a 3 hour party, but I could have kept them here much longer! Such delight and such laughter! I'm so happy you have such nice friends Peebs!

JuBe bought this little lego set with her own money. She spent almost as much time getting ready to celebrate you as mommy did! She made you two incredible cards, wrote and illustrated a story for you with all of your 1st grade vocabulary words, wrote out a scripture verse on a paper she colored that had a camping theme.

Odes paid the tax for the lego set. He is now broke.

Each guest got a campfire to go with their cake.

Happy Birthday to you!

A mentos/pop geyser tube took place. This may just need to be a birthday tradition with Mr. Mud.

Football and water games followed cake and ice cream.
Your regular camping buddies, Mr. Mud and his boy's spent the night with you and your siblings and daddy in the back yard last night. Mommy stayed inside. :) You have to camp at a Camping party, right?

The next morning as we pulled into the garage on the way home from church we heard from the back seat "I'd like to go out to lunch" coming from your seat. At first I said "no" but you reminded me how much it meant to you last year when the two of us went to lunch together. I told you I'd feed everyone else first and then we were off. "Where would you like to go?" I asked. "Where do YOU want to go mommy?" I explained it was your birthday pick. In a timid shy voice you said, "well, would it be OK to go to McDonald's?" Off we went to get you a happy meal and to have some alone time...discussing your party, your gifts, your siblings, what you want to be when you grow up (used to be a pastor, now you want to be a Builder ---ahhh, so THAT is why you keep asking me how thick the walls of our  house are. You want to do the digging part though). You asked me how many more years you had left to decide what you wanted to be when you grew up. I love getting to be alone with you Peebs man.

Grandma & Grandpa and Papa & Nana celebrated with a pizza party tonight!
You picked the "5 meat Papa Murphy" and with bloated guts we went around the table and each of us shared with you things that we love about you (a birthday tradition in our family).

You don't like lego's do you?

Happy 7th Birthday to our sweet boy!
You. Are. Loved!

She Ponders All These Things in Her Heart

...but Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart...

Mothers...across centuries, across cultures, across religions, we are all the same. Mary the mother of Jesus had Luke to record her treasures. Some of us ponder and then pen them in a baby/remembrance book or a blog like this ... but all of us have those moments, big and small that we treasure.

I have had lots of those treasurey kinds of pondering moments with my kids over the last week or so. So many that I've lost several of them. They weren't the BIG kind of pondering moments...you know, like Shepherds coming after angels told them your Son was born, or Kings bringing extravagant gifts of worship. But little things, that make my heart swell toward my kids and give me the title "Mommy."


As I'm sitting at the piano and singing "Jesus, Light of the World Shine Upon Us" JoJo joins me and begins to play a counter melody. Then she adds lyrics "Elmo the potty. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah"

JuBe whispers in my ear "I don't think you got your money's worth out of the foot rub I gave you the other night. How about another one while you read to us before bed time Mama?"

Peebs..."I like when you lead worship at church Mommy. What do you do again though? I forgot? Do you sing or play piano?" (ahem...4 to 5 out of 7 nights, I tuck them in bed and go downstairs and both play piano and sing as they fall asleep....and last Sunday at the worship service I did both play & sing)

JoJo after tinkling on the floor right before she got to the toilet "I'm sooooooo sorry Mommy. You happy with me?" (Oh, how could I be anything but happy with you, lovely girl?)

Odes: "Mommy, let's do that thing where I hide under the blanket in my room and then you lay on me and ask everyone else if you know where I am and then yell for me to come to bed now. Do I always ask you to do that?"

Peebs: My sweet, talkative, yet quiet-spirited, servant-hearted boy/man...taking care of little siblings, and taking on large tasks without being told. We went into the back yard and saw that our 6 year old son had set up a fire pit we had been wanting to set up...all on his own. It was perfectly done...we wouldn't have changed a stone!

Odes: "Your hair looked creepy and your face looked shiny in college."

JuBe: "Why am I getting a callus on my toe?" Me: (not really sure why I said this) "because you're becoming a young lady now." JuBe: "Oh, you say that because you have them. But, I don't think calluses are lady like. You certainly aren't." Me: (feigning offense) "What do you mean I'm not lady like?" JuBe: "Samantha's lady~like Grandmother (story figure from the late 1700's) would never chase her kids around the house and laugh hysterically and say weird stuff like you...it's not lady~like." Me: "OK...I'm going to take this and say 'thanks.'" JuBe: "I like you mom."

JoJo: Any time we ever ask a question during school, she raises her hand and yells "I know, GOD! No, no Jesus! I got it Woo hoo!"

Odes: "you should really take off that swim mask mama. It doesn't do good things for you."

Peebs: "Mommy, I don't understand why they put words like 'jab' and 'ram' in my readers. These are not words I care to read about."

Peebs: (yelling into the next room) "JuBe! I can read 'yak' now!"

JoJo: "let's race mommy!" (in the pool) "I get the gold, you get the silver!" She is two and can barely dog paddle, but insists on winning every time.

JuBe: A good and loyal friend...always wanting to give in her friendships, but never seeming to be a push over. I love her strong, constant, sweet spirit. Learning to speak her mind, while remaining kind and respectful...a quiet, strength-filled dignity surrounds her as she grows in humor and creativity.

Peebs: upon understanding the reason for an exclamation point at the end of a sentence, yelling every sentence that he reads which ends with one.

Odes: "I'm really not comfortable talking about this with you mommy. I mean, it's just uncomfortable to say how I feel about you singing in front of the whole church."

JoJo: "Call me Catty now. Cuz I want a Ruffy/Catty birthday party. But, then, call me Bongo, cuz I like my monkey."

Odes: "Is that your breath or your feet mommy? Just sayin'"

JuBe: "If I won the American Girl contest for a trip to D.C., I'd take YOU Mommy!"

Oh, so so so so many things just fill up my heart as the days fly past. It's so easy to get caught up in all of the "stuff:" driving to appointments and striving for timeliness, getting through curriculum and assignments, breaking up fights, meeting needs, shaping character, mopping up "accidents," getting beds made, toilet reminders, teeth brushing reminders, putting stuff away---endlessly, making meals, cleaning up meals, giving medicine, kissing boo-boos, looking for the last band-aid, listening to 15 billion knock-knock jokes (or worse, listening to the 20 minute long joke a cousin shared at camp~for the 15th time)...
but in the midst of it all...there are little things to ponder-to treasure and store away. To remember, because the "days go by slowly and the years slip away quickly" and one day, they will be pondering their own little treasures in their hearts.

So so so thankful for my sweet babies and all the joy and love and lessons we are learning together. Thank you Jesus for my family!